The Power of Pause: How Meditation Transforms Parenting
Meditation has long been proven to reduce stress, anxiety and create more calm in the mind. This is not new information for most. When I became a parent, I realized the affects of meditation to be profound. Parenting has it’s own type of altering you; the sleepless nights, lack of personal time and overall stress that many of us have never quite felt so intensely. I began mediating before I was a parent but when I became a parent of two kids in diapers (during COVID!) I found it imperative. Since that time, I have used daily mediation to calm my mind. I have recommended it to hundreds of patients over the years. I talk about it at trainings and in my one-on-ones with parents. This past year, I decided to take it to the next level and signed up for a 5-day silent meditation retreat. Go big or go home, I thought - which is very anti-meditation - but nonetheless, I signed up.
Most people who knew me well laughed. “You not talk for 5 days?” My extroverted self was terrified and I thought of a million reasons to back out. I almost did - literally - by missing two trains to get there! But I arrived and took it all in. I turned in my computer and phone. I got silent. I meditated, took long walks, let my mind run wild and then go quiet again. I ate slower. I noticed the clouds and the flowers. But what came to mind most was my kids. I saw their smiles, sweet faces, my regrets as a parent, my hopes for them and most of all, my role in their life.
Being a parent is such a big ask. Rather being a parent that your kids want to be like when they grow up. Not an efficient parent who gets things done or one that manages the schedule, but the kind of parent that plays and laughs with their kids. The kind of parent kids want to be around. The connection is what I’m after with my kids and what I encourage the parents I work with to focus on, but connection is often lost in the distraction. There are many reasons for distractions as a parent - we’re all busy - but everything does not have to be done right now. And there comes the PAUSE. The mental shift. The awareness of what is important right now.
I can honestly say I have never had this realization more than I did during this five day retreat. It was so clear that if I were to pause and shift my focus, if just briefly, my entire interaction with my kids would change. My lovely teacher, Ellen, said this during the training. “If you just wait 10 seconds, 90% of the problem will go away.”
Two weeks after the retreat, I had a call with Ellen. I told her of my work and how powerful the retreat was for me. I told her I wished I could share it with every parent I’ve ever worked with and she said, “let’s do that then!”
And so, we are! Ellen and I are hosting our first silent mediation retreat for parents near Valencia, Spain in October, 2025. Ellen will lead the mindfulness piece and I will lead evening talks about parenting and emotional regulation. This is the retreat I’ve always wanted to be a part of but didn’t exist. It exists now, though and would love you all to join!
Here is the link for booking and info: https://livemindfully.nl/en/silent-parenting-retreat/
Much love and pauses,
Allison
